My husband wants us to go to a 4th of July party at the halfway house where he is living. Apparently it’s a big to do. But I don’t want to go. Our oldest doesn’t want to go. Her exact words were “I don’t want to celebrate the 4th of July with a bunch of drunks.”
To be fair, they won’t (or shouldn’t be) drunk. That’s the point of the party — to celebrate and have fun without alcohol. But they will be smoking…yuck! And I will be nervous. I know there are some guys whose previous residence was prison. Not exactly the kind of people I want to have my kids around.
Call me a snob, but I don’t want to do this. The only reason I’m even entertaining the thought is that it is important to my husband. I want to be supportive. But if I had my way, I’d be anywhere else.
Tags: 4th of July, unsavory characters
July 4, 2010 at 3:48 pm |
I remember feeling the exact same resistance towards mingling with the alcoholics and addicts in my husband’s recovery group. But Al-Anon helped me to see that my lack of willingness to get off my soapbox only hurt me. The men in my husband’s recovery group are all there for one thing, to get sober. They aren’t drunk and they don’t want to be. And they are hmble enough to have exposed their weaknesses to each other, which creates a bond that will help them all stay sober. My lack of acceptance did nothing but show my husband that I still looked down on him from my soapbox, whether or not he was sober.
It was very hard in the beginning. I had alot of pride and resentment to get over. And it was hard to accept that my husband now looked up to people who had been in prison, or lived on the street. But I can tell you that through the help of Al-Anon, I have learned to stop judging them, look more closely at myself, and face the fact that we are all flawed and have all made mistakes. Today, some of the men in my husband’s program are the most important people in our lives. They are not only are backbone of my husband’s sobriety, they have also shown up for me in times of need. They are deeply spiritual men, regardless of their pasts, and they are the kind of men whom I am proud to know.
And as for the parties, well I had to eventualy admit that they knew much better than I did how to have a good time!