God, I feel lonely. I have been so blessed to have friends who have been there for me in countless ways. But they all have families and lives of their own. I have great kids. But I’m their mother, not their friend. I have a husband who, while he doesn’t live here right now, still loves me. But so much water (alcohol? drugs? lies?) has passed, that I’m not ready to let him fill me yet. I just feel empty and lonely. And I know that this hole, this pit of loneliness that I am feeling will be best filled by God. But that’s not instant enough. It’s not real enough. To borrow a phrase from a retreat I attended once, I need a “God with skin.”
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Tags: emptiness, God, loneliness
