I didn’t have to make the decision, to ask or not to ask. My sponsor-to-be was not at tonight’s meeting. Of course I felt “Darn! I was ready to ask her.” When in reality, I don’t think I was, but given that the opportunity didn’t present itself, it was easy to be all confident about what I would have done. Guess God was giving me an opportunity to pray about it.
The meeting was a speaker meeting. The speaker was a member of AA who has done two stints in prison and told his story while wearing a house arrest anklet. I could alternately hear the pain and the joy in his voice as he recounted his addiction and his serenity. The way he described some of his feelings was exactly the way my husband has spoken of his own addiction. As he told his story, I realized that I was not sitting in judgement of what he had done in his past. Why do I find it so hard to avoid judgement when it comes to my husband’s own struggle with alcoholism.
After the meeting, I made it a point to speak to a couple of people. And I had arrived a few minutes early to help set up chairs and materials. Both of these activities seemed to have worked to make me feel more welcome at the meeting and more as though I belonged.
Maybe next week, I’ll have a sponsor and will finally be a real rabbit! (Velveteen Rabbit, anyone?)
Tags: Al-Anon, prayer, sponsor, Velveteen Rabbit
